A TALE OF TWO TRIXIES
(and three Thursdays)

Please click HERE if you would like a brief tutorial on Thursday Next.

"Thursday, we have a situation."

"Don't we always?" Thursday grumbled in reply, scarcely looking up from her mountain of paperwork.

Detective Thursday Next of the BookWorld's policing organization, Jurisfiction, was in her mid-30s, a plain woman with mousy, shoulder-length hair, often pulled back in a ponytail, and ordinary features.  The stress of her job had created thin lines around her eyes and mouth and dark circles under her eyes, as well as some premature graying in her hair.  Sometimes she felt almost as old as Commander Trafford Bradshaw, her fellow Jurisfiction agent, who had come to her with news of the latest "situation".

The Mystery section of the BookWorld had been up in arms for weeks now, with particular unrest near the border of Romance, where female detectives were fighting to keep the old school detectives at bay.  Disgruntled by the rise in popularity of antique dealers, pastry chefs, novelists, and teenage girls trying to pass themselves off as sleuths, hard-boiled detectives like Sam Spade and Philip Marlowe had spearheaded a movement to rewrite the borders of their genre, pushing "those gumshoe wannabes" into the Romance genre.  Despite continual negotiations over the past two months, the only concession they had been willing to make was to cordon off a section of their genre devoted to "amateur detectives", a phrase they always uttered with dripping condescension.

This had created even more friction when the female detectives split into two factions, as professionals like Kinsey Millhone and Cordelia Gray took up sides with other police detectives and private investigators, while those in limbo, such as Stephanie Plum, didn't know which way to turn.  Plum claimed her job as a bounty hunter fell under the category of law enforcement but Lieutenant Eve Dallas snidely declared, "Stephanie Plum is definitely not a detective.  She's not even much of a bounty hunter!"

"Is it Nancy again?" Thursday asked wearily.  "She can claim all the novels and rampant popularity she wants but until she has an actual detective's license, she's an amateur.  I'm having enough trouble with this war as it is without people claiming to be professionals when they're clearly not.  She should be happy we let her stay in Mystery and not relocate her to Young Adult."

"It isn't Nancy," Commander Bradshaw said gruffly.

"Then what?  If it's Eve and Roarke fighting again, don't worry about it. They argue constantly.  They get off on it.  They always work it out, more often than not in bed, and I'm definitely not getting in the middle of that again!"

She shuddered as she remembered the last time she had been caught in In Death a page too long.  Watching it live wasn't exactly the same experience as reading it.  She had been so traumatized she hadn't allowed her own husband to touch her for a week.

"Thursday, it's Trixie Belden."

Startled, Thursday jerked her head up. "What?"

Trixie Belden wasn't known for instigating trouble.  Perhaps she figured she created enough trouble within her books that she didn't need to cause any additional difficulties.  Maybe it was an underlying self-consciousness that no matter how many loyal fans she had, she still wasn't as popular as Nancy Drew.  Whatever the reason, she diligently kept to her task within the 39 books that comprised her series, solving mysteries with her brothers and friends without complaint.

Thursday liked the spunky blond teenager.  Everybody did, even the villains.  While it certainly never came across that way to the readers, hard core criminals like Jonesy, Dick the Dip, and countless men named Slim all enjoyed Trixie's company and spent a great deal of time with her when not otherwise engaged in their stories.  Even Pierre Lontard had eventually come around to see the finer qualities in the all-American girl and her band of do-gooders.

"How could Trixie be causing trouble?" Thursday queried.

Commander Bradshaw shrugged.  "I don't know.  All I know is that she's in Happy Valley Mystery refusing to continue with the series.  If her fans get a hankering to read anything beyond number nine, there's going to be trouble, trouble with a capital 'T'.  'T' as in Trafford!" he concluded with a spark of amusement in his wizened gray eyes.

"'T' as in Trixie," Thursday mumbled.  "I'll get right on it."

"Ooh-ooh, can I go, too?  Please?"

Thursday sighed.  It had been such a quiet morning thus far.

Her book counterpart, known affectionately—or not so much—as Thursday5, was a watered down, sappy sweet version of herself.  After the first four books in her series had portrayed her as a violent, crude, drunken tramp, she had taken her case to the publishers and threatened to cease doing further promotions unless they tamed her character down.

Unfortunately, Thursday5 was the result.  She was sensitive, caring, compassionate, kind, thoughtful—and unreadable, dangerously close to making Mary Sues look normal.  The fifth book in the series had been an unqualified flop.

Today Thursday5 was wearing a homespun calico skirt and sturdy, lace-up boots.  She had braided her hair into two long plaits that hung down each side of her sweet, round face.  She looked just like Thursday, only young and wholesome.  She had been reading Little House again, Thursday suspected.

"I love Trixie Belden!" Thursday5 proclaimed.  "I've read all of her books and I'm dying to meet the Bob-Whites of the Glen!"

No surprise there.  The Bob-Whites of the Glen, the semi-secret club formed by Trixie, her two older brothers, her best friend, and her best friend's adopted brother, were devoted to charitable causes.  Thursday happened to know, from her time spent in the Outland, that their generous nature and loyal friendship had rubbed off on fans of the series.  Grown women, and even one mystery-loving man, had formed a close-knit online group, organizing a yearly convention and often having fund-raising events to celebrate the series that had brought them all together.

On the other hand, the Bob-Whites were, at times, sickeningly decent.  They never skipped school, they never talked back to their parents, they never played their rock and roll music too loud, and when they weren't helping others they spent their free time horseback riding and going on picnics rather than cruising the mall, getting body parts pierced, or trying to acquire alcohol with fake IDs.

Thursday5 would fit right in.

"Hey!  If she gets to go, I get to go!"

Thursday1-4, however, would not.

In a typical move calculated to lure readers, the publishers of the first four novels in the Thursday Next series had "juiced up" her character to appeal to modern readers.  She was a cross between Steven Segal (only more violent) and Andrew Dice Clay (only more foul-mouthed).  She was so rough that she made Thursday herself—most comfortable in jeans, a tee-shirt, and a well-worn brown leather jacket—look practically delicate in comparison.

"You're staying here," Thursday said firmly.  "You can take care of my paperwork."

Thursday1-4 let loose a string of obscenities that had Thursday5 cringing like a kicked puppy.

"The Bob-Whites don't swear," she whispered to Thursday.

"And that's why she's not going."

"I happen to know that those grown-up birds swear plenty over in Fanfiction, amongst other interesting things they do," Thursday1-4 countered.

"We have no regulatory jurisdiction over fanfic and you know it," Thursday reminded her.  "All we can do is make sure that the Authors Liaison Team confirms proper passwords on all '18 and over' material."

Thursday1-4 would've been better left in Fanfiction but the thought of the havoc she could wreak in that country, already weighed down with unedited works fraught with grammar and punctuation errors of mind-boggling proportions, made Thursday shudder again.  She really admired the organization and support the Trixie Belden fanfic group offered their members.  They required, or at least strongly encouraged, all writers to have editors.

Thursday rarely ventured to Fanfiction.  There was too much going on in the BookWorld for her to deal with.  And despite the fact that many of the fanfic writers were quite talented, she had a hard time remembering which characters were paired up in non-traditional works.  Even in the strictly traditional universes, the twists and turns the writers took into various genres and time periods often confused her.

"You've been to Fanfiction?" Thursday5 asked Thursday1-4, her eyes wide with awe.

"Of course I have.  And let me tell you, Little Mary Sunshine, you haven't lived until you've watched Brian and Honey doing it on her father's desk."

Thursday5 gasped and put her hand to her mouth.  "They wouldn't!" she cried in disbelief.

Thursday1-4 leaned forward and flashed an evil grin.  "Or joined them for a threesome."

Thursday5 burst into tears.

Thursday sighed.  If she didn't put a stop to this quickly, Trixie Belden would remain immovable and the series would be in jeopardy with Jixanny approaching.  The word from the intergenre news agencies was that the writers planned to do a rewrite of The Mystery at Bob-White Cave.  That was two books after Happy Valley Mystery and the conscientious writers at Jixemitri would surely be doing some re-reading before they set themselves in front of their computers to write.  She had to get Trixie back in line before that happened.

"Listen, Thursday," she said to her angelic counterpart, "what happens in Fanfiction, stays in Fanfiction.  You don't have to read that stuff."

"They never did anything more than hold hands," Thursday5 whimpered as she dried her tears with a dainty lace handkerchief with the initials "TN" cross-stitched on the corner.  Thursday was lucky if she could find a crumpled tissue in her pocket most days.  If not, her sleeve would suffice.

"That's right and those are the only stories we have the authority to police, so let's get to it and get dear, sweet Trixie and her dear, sweet friends back in line, okay?"

Thursday5 nodded with determination, shot Thursday1-4 a dark glare, and gathered her things.

"Finish the paperwork," Thursday told her not remotely angelic counterpart.  "If it gets done—and done properly—maybe I'll let you visit Roarke while Eve's busy on a case."

"Bitchin'!" Thursday1-4 exclaimed, eliciting another whimper from Thursday5.

Thursday knew Roarke was loyal to Eve, regardless of his pre-canon history.  If Thursday1-4 wanted carnal knowledge of the dashing Irishman, she'd have to go find some backstories in Fanfiction.

On their way out, Thursday flipped open her TravelBook, the navigational manual that was issued to every Jurisfiction agent.  Inside, a copy of The Happy Valley Mystery was immediately available.  Thursday paged through it, trying to find a convenient spot to slip in without the readers noticing any aberrations.

"There's a dance at Rivervale High in Chapter 9," Thursday5 said helpfully.  "Plenty of people around.  Nobody will notice us."

Thursday skimmed the chapter.  She'd prefer to hang out at the basketball game but agreed there was probably a better chance of catching Trixie alone at the dance.  She knew readers' eyes were often drawn to the non-romance between Jim Frayne and Dot Murray.  They loved to read between the lines to justify their traditional or non-traditional views.  Or she could try to distract Trixie while the darkly handsome Ned Schultz was running off at the mouth.

"All right, let's go," she said.  Thursday5 grabbed hold of her arm and together they leaped into Happy Valley Mystery.

The school gym was crowded with teenagers and Thursday felt distinctly out of place.  Maybe she could pass as a chaperone if any astute readers noticed her.

The problem with talking to Trixie was that she was in every scene in every book—one of the many pitfalls of being a title character.  But that was why she had brought Thursday5 with her.

"You're sure you're familiar with the series?" she asked.

"Of course.  Why?"

"Because I'm going to need you to stand in for Trixie for a few pages while I try and talk some sense into her."

Thursday5's eyes widened.  "Seriously?  Seriously?  I get to be Trixie Belden?"

"Not if you're going to squeal like that.  I think you and I both know Trixie isn't much for girlish squeals."

But Thursday5 wasn't listening.  "Oh, oh!  I'll probably get to dance with Jim Frayne.  It's only a few pages away.  Ohmigosh, wait 'til Thursday1-4 finds out!"

It was Thursday's opinion that unless Thursday5 was planning to rip off Jim's shirt, rake her fingernails down his supple chest, and jump his bones in the middle of the dance floor, Thursday1-4 wouldn't be impressed.

And she knew Jim Frayne wouldn't allow that to happen.  If he didn't allow Trixie to do it, he certainly wasn't going to allow Thursday5 to do it.  He was an honorable, upright young man, much older than his 16 years it seemed at times, even taking into consideration the era in which the books had been written.

Thursday scanned the gymnasium for the curly-haired tomboy.  A glance down at the book reminded her that she was in the restroom with her girlfriends, Honey Wheeler and Diana Lynch.  They were primping for the dance and inadvertently wounding Trixie's fragile self-esteem, making her feel like she had to make a little extra effort herself.

"Trixie, Honey, and Diana will be coming out of the restroom any second now," she pointed out to her cadet as they briskly moved in that direction.  "We'll have to move fast because the focus is almost always on Trixie and her point of view.  The moment that Honey and Diana go off with their boy admirers and the narrative takes that sentence or two to discover Jim with Dot Murray, you'll need to step in Trixie's place while I take her back to the restroom for a little one-on-one."

Thursday5 nodded eagerly.  Thursday could see her mouthing dialogue to herself.  She was annoying at times, but she did her job well.  The readers of the series probably wouldn't notice a thing.

The girls exited the restroom.  Thursday counted off four beats then grabbed Trixie's arm and pulled her back into the restroom.  Thursday5 stepped deftly into Trixie's place and observed Jim Frayne and Dot Murray with jealous eyes.

"What's going on?" Trixie blurted, hands on her hips, blue eyes flashing with annoyance.

"Thursday Next, Jurisfiction," Thursday announced, not bothering to show her badge.  Trixie knew who she was.  Marlowe and Spade could gripe all they wanted about "amateur detectives" but the ladies were usually well read and on the ball when it came to knowing the ins and outs of anything related to the law.

"So?"

"So, I understand that you're not planning to continue on to Book 10."

Trixie crossed her arms across her chest and nodded.  "That's right."

"What seems to be the problem, Belden?"

The teenage girl stuck her lower lip out in a childish pout and remained stubbornly mute.

Thursday sighed.  "Trixie, this isn't like you.  Tell me what's going on."

Trixie glared at Thursday but her silent treatment didn't last long, as Thursday knew it wouldn't.  The girl was too talkative to give anyone the cold shoulder for long.

"I'm tired of it," she whined.

"Tired of what?"

"Everything!"

"Everything?" Thursday echoed skeptically.  "You love to solve mysteries."

"Okay, not everything.  I'm just tired of all the goody two shoediness."

Thursday shook her head in puzzlement.  For a fleeting moment she wondered if a Trixie from Fanfiction had managed to infiltrate the series.  "Good two shoediness" sounded just like the kind of word fanfic writers might make up in a fit of evilocity after a late-night online chat fortified by Cheetos, chocolate-covered pretzels, and gallons of Dr. Pepper.

"That's who you are, Trixie," she explained patiently.  "And it's what the readers love about you and the Bob-Whites.  You're wholesome.  You make a very pleasant contrast to the types of teenagers that plague literature today.  Do I need to tell you about Twilight again?"

A glint of interest sparked in Trixie's blue eyes.  "At least Bella gets to see some action.  I've had it up to here with the fond glances!"

"Are you upset with Jim because he's dancing with Dot Murray?"

"Of course I am!" Trixie barked.  "He can barely glance at me fondly but it's perfectly okay to do the lambada with that bimbo?  I've had it!  If he continues to be such an honorable wuss, I'm going to look elsewhere."

"Elsewhere?  Do you mean Dan?"

"Maybe," Trixie replied, tossing her curls impertinently.

Dan Mangan was the newest member of the Bob-Whites of the Glen, introduced in the previous book, The Black Jacket Mystery.  He was an orphan, rescued from a New York City gang by his uncle.  Despite his sketchy past, he was destined to be just as filled with "goody two shoediness" as the rest of his friends.  However, Thursday knew that readers with vivid imaginations, namely Thursday1-4, had envisioned a rather dark and edgy past for the brooding bad boy of Sleepyside.

Thursday knew that in Fanfiction Trixie had Dan.  The majority of fanfic writers were still loyal to tradition, despite the fact that nothing substantial had ever happened in the series between Trixie and Jim—they were the king and queen of fond glances, after all.  But the more daring writers put Dan with Trixie.  Other writers put the unattached Bob-White with Hallie, Honey, Diana, or even—Thursday shuddered—Jim.

And just because Dan was the proclaimed "bad boy" didn't mean the others didn't get around, too.  When Trixie wasn't with Jim or Dan, she played the field with a variety of other characters, both canon and original.  Even her seemingly responsible brothers often swapped girlfriends or totally abandoned Honey and Diana for other women.

Thursday had to admit it—Fanfiction was a fun place.  But it didn't help her solve the problem currently at hand.  A problem that was fast becoming more complicated as Trixie went on.

"It doesn't have to be Dan," she said.  "Tad, Regan, Ned, Sergeant Molinson.  I'm not particular."

Not particular?  That kind of attitude could lead to some seriously red star material.  And the BookWorld wasn't set up for passworded stories.  Anybody could pick a book off the shelf and read it.  She could only imagine what parents would think if their children read about wholesome Trixie Belden behaving in a "not particular" manner.  An image of Trixie and Sleepyside's local gossip, Mr. Lytell, sprang unbidden to her mind, causing her to shudder once again, a shudder of almost epileptic proportions.

She sighed.  She supposed she could understand the frustration.  Teenagers were walking bundles of hormones.  Still, Trixie was only 14.

"I'm sure the writers simply think that you're too young for anything serious," she said.

"Oh, and about that.  How about some freakin' birthdays?"

Thursday cocked one eyebrow.  Freakin'?  Where had she learned that word?

"You know you get a birthday in Marshland Mystery, right?  That's the next book."

"Yes," she replied grudgingly.  She paused, then added in a rush, "But Honey and Diana tease me in that one and I hate that bratty little violin girl."

Thursday sighed again.  If she didn't get this mess cleaned up before Jixanny, the series—and a whole heap of fanfic—would be in serious jeopardy.  Trixie and Jim fans would still have the orchid and the bracelet but they wouldn't have the tunnel scene from The Mystery of the Emeralds and they wouldn't have the powder blue bathing suit from The Mystery on Cobbett's Island.  There would be no Idaho cousins, no redemption for Regan in Saratoga, no Lucy Radcliffe, no brooding Brian, no Peter Belden dancing in the rain, no Nick Roberts, no Miss Lonelyheart.  And although she couldn't imagine too many readers complaining, there would be no books where Trixie was knitting or being terrified of ghosts, or generally behaving like a spoiled—

Thursday narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Trixie.

"Trixie?  What color are Jim's eyes?"

Trixie gave her a contemptuous glare.  "Blue, of course.  Why?"

Oh, hell!  This wasn't Trixie.  It was Pod Trixie from Bob-White Cave.

Thursday took a deep breath to clear her head.  It wasn't as simple as merely taking Pod Trixie into custody.  She couldn't just disappear from her own series.  No, Thursday would have to figure out where the real Trixie Belden was before she could send Pod Trixie back to Bob-White Cave.

She peeked out the door of the restroom and took a glance over at Thursday5 to see what she was up to.  She was dancing with Jim Frayne.  Her cheeks were flushed and she seemed to be babbling in her excitement at dancing with the handsome redhead.  Jim, polite as always, was playing along for the book's sake, but Thursday could see him anxiously scanning the room for his special girl.  He'd probably be of some help.  She wasn't as confident about Thursday5.  She was fine for dances and ice skating but Thursday had serious doubts that she'd handle the flood well, even with Jim's presence to bolster her.

Trixie scowled and said, "Are we done here?  Ned Schultz is waiting for me."

As Trixie—the real Trixie—would say, Gleeps!  What a brat!

Thursday would've loved to have taken Pod Trixie and banished her to the Outland, but despite the fact that there were spoiled teenagers aplenty in the real world, it wasn't a very realistic plan.  No matter how much readers might complain about Pod Trixie in Bob-White Cave, they knew her.  Her whining and selfishness were distinctive in the book and should she suddenly revert to normal Trixie, the readers would notice.

Changing canon wasn't unheard of but it rarely happened.  It took too much effort, as Thursday well knew, having completely changed the course of events in Jane Eyre some years ago.  It had turned out for the best and even die-hard fans, who still faintly remembered the original version of the classic novel, wherein Jane doesn't return to Thornfield Hall but instead goes to India with St. John Rivers, claimed it was much better with Jane and Rochester ending up together.  But in order to make a permanent change in a book, you had to go back to the original manuscript.  If you used a later version, all prior editions of the book would maintain their original text, causing consternation and confusion among the readers.

"Trixie, let me ask you a question," Thursday said innocuously.  "What do you know about ghost fish?"

"Ghost fish?  Why, they're these colorless fish that are found in—wait a minute!  I don't learn about ghost fish until Book 11.  Why would I know anything about them in Book 9?"

"Because you're Trixie from Book 11," Thursday returned, taking care not to call her Pod Trixie.  Pod characters were very touchy.  She stood squarely in front of the door to bar Pod Trixie's flight.  "Where's the real Trixie Belden?"

Pod Trixie's gaze darted around the restroom, seeking another avenue of escape.  But unless she was planning to flush herself down the toilet—not a half bad idea—she was trapped.

But this was no Thursday5 she was facing.  Pod Trixie's eyes narrowed and she widened her stance as if prepared to charge her captor.  "It's none of your business where Trixie is," she snarled.  "I'm in charge now.  I'm tired of her perky girl-next-door sweetness.  If she hasn't taken any action with Jim Frayne by now, she never will.  And I'm not reliving this series over and over without any action.  I know there's better than this out there!"

"What do you mean?" Thursday asked warily.  "Out there where?"

Pod Trixie pressed her lips together.  Her face paled a bit and her pugilistic stance wilted.  "In Fanfiction," she said in a small voice.  It was obvious that she was aware she had slipped up.

The already complicated situation had just gotten much worse.  There was only one way that Pod Trixie or any of these characters would know about Fanfiction.  Thursday1-4.

"Dammit," Thursday mumbled.

Whiny as she was, Pod Trixie was still an innocent 14-year-old girl from the 1950's.  She gasped and murmured, "You swore in a Trixie Belden book."

And I'll probably get cited for it, too, Thursday thought.  But it's not like any of the readers would catch on.  They were out in the gymnasium swooning over Jim and Trixie.  She and Pod Trixie were all alone in the school restroom.

Behind her the door swung open and Thursday5 sidled into the room.  "What's going on?" she asked.

"It's Pod Trixie," Thursday explained in a low voice.

"From Book 11?" Thursday5 shot a disgruntled look at Pod Trixie.  "How did she get here and where's the real Trixie?"

"I'm the real Trixie now," Pod Trixie retorted.

"No way!" Thursday5 shot back.  "I won't let you be in all 39 books.  Everybody would hate you and it would mark the end of the series for good.  Nobody would read them and eventually all the copies would be destroyed."

Thursday saw that there were actual tears in Thursday5's eyes as she imagined the dire consequences of a Pod Trixie for 39 books.  Trying to keep her focused, she asked, "What are you doing here?  Where's Jim?"

"It's the transition between the end of the dance and the time they get into the station wagon to go back to Happy Valley Farm.  I've got a few paragraphs."

Thursday flipped through her copy of Happy Valley.  "Not many.  I'll talk fast.  We need to find the real Trixie without disrupting the series."

"Don't you think she's probably just in one of the other books?" Thursday5 asked.

Series characters were tricky.  Obviously, they couldn't be in every book in their series at one time.  They divided their time between the books, leaving well-trained clones in their place when they were playing out stories elsewhere.  Books generally conceded to be among the best in a series were where the original characters spent most of their time, knowing they would be the most frequently read.  But there was no easy way to predict which book readers would be most drawn to.  For every reader who hated Pod Trixie in Bob-White Cave there was another who had sentimental attachment to the book because it was the first one she ever read.  For every reader who swooned over the orchid Jim sent Trixie in Mysterious Code there was another who couldn't read about the tainted timeline without throwing the book across the room.

Yeah, maybe that's a book I'll go and fix someday, Thursday mused.

Willfully changing the plot of a book was still very much frowned upon by the Council of Genres but since she had done it to Jane Eyre with such great response, she was sometimes given a little leeway in those matters.

"Thursday?" Thursday5 prodded.  "Where's Trixie?"

"I'm right here!" Pod Trixie shouted petulantly.

Both Thursdays ignored her.  She's never be able to pull off the switch.  She acted like a six-year-old.

Thursday took Thursday5 by the arm and moved her closer to the door, speaking in undertones.  "Pod Trixie knows about Fanfiction.  She doesn't seem to have the courage to try to escape but I'm concerned she'll try to turn Happy Valley into a fanfic, red star even."

"What's red star fanfic?" Thursday5 whispered.

Thursday remembered Thursday5's reaction to the Brian and Honey story.  She decided to ignore her question.  "Thursday1-4 told Pod Trixie about Fanfiction.  I don't know who else she told, so we'll have to tread carefully."

Thursday5 scowled.  "Pod Trixie will tell, if she hasn't already."

"Yes, I know.  We'll have to have her short-term memory erased."

"Why don't we just drop her into the Text Sea and be done with it?"

"The Text Sea is irreversible," Thursday explained. "It's for capital crimes only."

"You mean like corrupting beloved childhood characters with the knowledge of smutty fanfic?" Thursday5 said hopefully.

"Leave Thursday1-4 to me.  I'll deal with her after we deal with Pod Trixie."

Unfortunately, she said that a little too loudly.

"Pod Trixie?  Pod Trixie?  Why must I be a Pod Trixie?  Don't you think it's possible that I'm clinically depressed?  Or bipolar?  Or just have PMS?  Just because I'm having a bad day everybody suddenly thinks I'm a pod person.  Go deeper, folks.  Go deeper!"

Thursday sighed heavily.  This was going to be a long day.  "Thursday5, can you please go find Jim Frayne and send him to me?" she asked her apprentice.

"What're you going to do?"

Steering Thursday5 toward the door and keeping her voice low enough not to be overheard by Pod Trixie, Thursday explained.  "He's going to help us keep Pod Trixie in line.  I can't leave you here.  I need you.  And obviously, we can't take Trixie out of a Trixie Belden book.  Now hurry, before Jim gets into that station wagon and the story starts up again."

"But the readers will definitely notice him missing.  Ned's chatter isn't that distracting."

"You're right.  That's why you're going to stand in for Jim until the end of the chapter."

It wouldn't matter than a woman would be standing in for a teenage boy, any more than it would matter than Thursday5, with her long, brown, braided hair had stood in for a young girl with blond curls.  The physical appearances of the characters were created in the minds of the readers and they had already visualized Jim Frayne several chapters ago, if not several books ago.  As long as Thursday5 knew all the dialogue, the only ones who would notice the difference were the other characters.  She could explain the situation to them later on, in between chapters.

"Oh.  Oh.  Oh!  I get to be Trixie Belden and Jim Frayne in the same day?" Thursday5 squeaked.  "I could die happy tonight."

"Please don't," Thursday replied dryly.  "I still need your help to return the real Trixie to her rightful place in this book.  Now, play along."

Turning to Pod Trixie, she pasted a falsely cheerful expression on her face and said, "Are you ready to get back to the book, Trixie?"

Pod Trixie gave her a guarded look.  "You mean it?"

"Sure thing.  We've been talking it over and you may be right."

She didn't elaborate and she didn't need to.  All selfish Pod Trixie needed to hear was that she was right about something, anything.  A smug grin brightened her freckled face.

"Thursday5 is going to stand in for Jim for a few pages and I'll have a talk with him," Thursday continued.  "Just carry on as usual."  In a whisper, she added to Thursday5, "Do your best to keep her from acting like a brat.  We don't want the readers to notice anything unusual."

Thursday5 and Pod Trixie exited the restroom.  In the brief narrative lapse between leaving the school and getting into the Happy Valley Farm station wagon, Thursday5 would slip into Jim's place and direct him back to Thursday.

Thursday waited a few moments for the story to leave the gymnasium, then left the restroom herself, sinking down into a folding chair and resting her elbows on the table in front of her.  Where could Trixie be?  She didn't have time to look through the other 38 books for her, not with Jixanny coming up.

"Detective Next?"

Thursday raised her head and greeted Jim Frayne.  He was 16 years old but could pass for older.  He had a husky build, red hair, and green eyes—not blue—that were at the moment tense with worry.  But then, Jim Frayne tended to worry, especially when it came to Trixie Belden.

"Please call me Thursday," she said.  "Have a seat, Jim."  She gestured to a chair on the other side of the table.  "As I'm sure you've figured out by now, we have a slight problem."

Jim sat down, keeping his eyes fixed on Thursday but not saying a word.

"Trixie is missing.  That's Pod Trixie from Book 11 in the car right now."

"I knew it!" Jim said.  "I knew she was acting strange.  I just couldn't put my finger on why."

Jim was somewhat blind when it came to Trixie's flaws, even the real Trixie.  Pod Trixie could've had a temper tantrum in the middle of the dance floor and Jim might not have been able to figure it out.

"I'm letting her stay for now, until we find Trixie."

"You don't know where she is?"  Jim leaped to his feet, ready for action.  "We need to go find her!  She could be in danger!"

"Jim, you have to stay here," Thursday said firmly.  "I can't spare my apprentice to stand in for you.  We've got bigger problems than Trixie merely being missing."

"Such as?" Jim asked, his tone clearly stating that nothing could be more pressing than the search for his special girl.

"Pod Trixie knows about—well, she's been given some classified information and I'm afraid she's going to tell the others, too.  She could ruin this entire book if she actually knows anything specific."

Jim flushed, his color deepening quickly to a shade that fairly matched his hair.  "You mean about Fanfiction?" he mumbled.

"What do you know?" Trixie asked sharply.

Jim shrugged.  "Not much, really.  When Dot and I were dancing, she mentioned it."

So, Pod Trixie told Dot.  I can only imagine what sort of fanfic might involve Dot and Jim.

"What did she say?" she urged Jim.

Jim looked embarrassed.  He was humble, responsible, honorable to the core.  "She just said that she and I could ... have fun ... be together ... in Fanfiction, wherever that is.  I don't want to go there."

Little did Jim know how happy he would be in Fanfiction.  Or how tortured.  Well, you often had to put up with some torture in order to win fans.  For some reason, the readers loved to watch their favorite fictional men being tortured.  She sometimes wondered about readers in the Outland and what went on in their brains.

"You're not going there," she assured Jim.  "And neither is Dot.  Nobody from this book, or any book in the series, is going to Fanfiction."  There are enough of you there already.  "Dot doesn't show up again until you all go to the ice skating rink, so I'm taking her with me and having her short-term memory erased.  Can I count on you to tell no one what she told you about Fanfiction?

Jim nodded earnestly, even going so far as to cross his heart.  Thursday knew she could depend on him to keep his word.  Honorable all over the place, Trixie said.  Thursday had to agree.

"And you'll find Trixie?  The real Trixie and bring her back?" Jim asked.

"Yes.  Do you have any idea where Pod Trixie might have taken her?"

Jim furrowed his brow in thought but finally shook his head.  "No."

"Okay, if she says anything, I want you to alert me.  You know how to manipulate the text, right?"

A misspoken word or other oddity in the text would alert the spotters at Text Grand Central that something was amiss.  Pod Trixie had purposely overslept in Happy Valley and caused the Bob-Whites to miss their plane back to Sleepyside in her attempt to keep the series from continuing, which caused immediate alarm among the spotters.  In this case, Thursday and Jim could arrange a specific code phrase for him to say if he needed her to return to Happy Valley.

"Now, let's skip ahead to the farm," she said, pulling out her TravelBook.  "When everybody's piling out of the car, we'll swap you back into the story and Thursday5 and I will go find the real Trixie."

*****

Thursday and her apprentice took Dot into custody and leaped back to the Great Library.  They dropped off their detainee at the Memory Erasure Clinic before returning to Thursday's desk at Jurisfiction, where she was surprised to see that Thursday1-4 had been hard at work.  Her desk was nearly cleared of files and looked remarkably neat.

"All done," Thursday1-4 announced as they came in.  "Roarke?"

"Not quite yet," Thursday responded coolly.  "What do you know about this situation in Happy Valley?"

Thursday1-4 shrugged.  "Just what Commander Bradshaw told us earlier.  Less, actually, since I wasn't allowed to tag along."

"But you've been there before?"

Thursday1-4 opened her mouth as if to deny it but the look in Thursday's eyes must have made her think twice.  "Sure," she admitted casually.  "I get a lot of laughs seeing how those fuddy-duddies have fun.  Ice skating, high school dances, chasing jackrabbits.  Man, that last one really takes the cake!"

"We had to bring Dot Murray in for a short-term memory erasure," Thursday said.  "Seems she heard about Fanfiction and was coming on to Jim Frayne at the dance."

"Well, I didn't tell her!" Thursday1-4 declared.  She paused.  Slowly, a deliciously wicked grin slid across her face.  "Jim and Dot?  That would rock some boats in Fanfiction!"

"Shut up!" Thursday5 cried.  "Jim would never be interested in that trollop!"

"I didn't tell Dot about Fanfiction," Thursday1-4 shot back.

"No, but you told Pod Trixie and she told Dot," Thursday5 accused.  "You should've known better.  Pod characters can't keep secrets.  Although ... I bet Pod Bobby could.  Since he can't keep see-cruds anyway, I expect a Pod Bobby would be pretty tight-lipped."

"See-cruds?" Thursday1-4 snickered.  "You're pathetic, 5."

"Don't call me that!  I have a name!"

"Will you two please be quiet," Thursday said.  "I'm trying to think.  Thursday1-4, are you sure you didn't tell anybody but Pod Trixie about Fanfiction?  I'm serious about this.  If you lie to me and I find out you told anybody else, there will be no more trips to Fanfiction, In Death, or anywhere else you enjoy going.  I'll demote you to Old Man and the Sea duty."

Thursday1-4 paled.  "I get seasick," she protested.

"Yeah, that book makes everybody seasick.  So, tell the truth."

"The truth is I only told Trixie, I mean Pod Trixie.  But I didn't know it was Pod Trixie, honest."

"She wasn't acting strangely when you saw her?"

Thursday1-4 shook her head, a bewildered expression on her face.  "No.  She was nauseatingly cheerful and perky as usual, hot on the trail of a brand new mystery.  Sheep rustlers, right?"

"Oh, no."  Thursday sank down into the chair in front of her desk as the realization hit her.

"What's wrong?" Thursday5 asked.  "Can I make you some herbal tea?"

"What she needs is a shot of tequila," Thursday1-4 put in.

"What I need is a vacation," Thursday mumbled.  To Thursday1-4 she said, "You didn't tell Pod Trixie about Fanfiction.  You told the real Trixie."

Thursday5 gasped.  "Do you think she went to Fanfiction?"

"No.  She can't be a Page Runner when there aren't actual pages to run to."

"Don't end your sentences with a preposition, dear," Commander Bradshaw said as he strode briskly past with an armful of files.

"Yes, there are," Thursday1-4 said.

Thursday jerked to attention.  "What are you talking about?  All fanfic is on the Internet."

"Sometimes readers print them out."

"Why?"

Thursday1-4 shrugged.  "To keep their favorite stories for re-reads?"

"But they aren't actually books, right?  Book characters can't leap into unbound material."

"Well..."

"Well, what?"

Thursday1-4 seemed surprised, and not a little pleased, that she knew more about something than Thursday did.

"Fanfic technically can't be published, of course, due to copyright law," she began.  "But with the rise of self-published authors and small, independent printing companies, some fanfic writers have published their works, mostly for vanity, I guess.  As long as they only make copies for themselves or give them to friends without asking for any monetary compensation, they can duck through a loophole."

"But why would Trixie even want to go to Fanfiction?" Thursday5 asked.

"Fanfiction isn't all red star," Thursday explained patiently.  "A lot of it is quite good."

"A lot of the red star is quite good, if you ask me," Thursday1-4 put in.

"Nobody asked you!  And Trixie wouldn't want to do that," Thursday5 insisted.

"I don't know why you think this girl is some kind of Pollyanna," Thursday1-4 said with a sneer.  "She has flaws.  Hell, that's why the readers like her so much.  Because she's not perfect!  In fact, some of the fanfic writers don't even like her all that well."

Thursday5's mouth dropped open.  "I can't believe that!  Why on earth would they want to write Trixie Belden fanfic if they don't even like Trixie Belden?"

"Hello?" Thursday1-4 said caustically.  "Do the words 'supple redhead' mean anything to you?"

"Okay, okay," Thursday interrupted.  She was starting to understand how Brian felt every time he had to referee an argument between Trixie and Mart.  "Thursday1-4, go see Cat at the Great Library and find out if any self-published fanfic works are part of our system.  If she could get in that way, theoretically she could find a way into the Internet stories from there."

As her leather-clad counterpart quickly disappeared, Thursday turned to Thursday5.  "Who knows Trixie better, Honey or Jim?"

Thursday5 looked confused.  "Um, Honey, I guess.  They're best friends and after they graduate from college they plan to open the Belden-Wheeler Detective—"

"Yeah, yeah, I know that.  I want you to—"

Thursday5 interrupted as well.  "But if you want to know who I think really knows Trixie best, I'd say Mart."

Her almost twin.  He'd certainly known her longer than either Honey or Jim.  Despite their squabbles, they were devoted to one another.  And they had very similar personalities.  Thursday5 was probably right.

"Okay, here's what I need you to do," Thursday said, getting out of the guest chair and moving behind her desk.  "Go to Gatehouse and find Mart.  For heaven's sake, make sure it's the real Mart and not a pod."

"There is no Pod Mart."

"Fine.  I want the two of you to—"

"Actually, a case could be made for Pod Mart in Missing Millionaire, but I think that's unlikely.  Pod Jim is already there.  Two pods in one book?  That would be pretty painful."

"Thursday5, pay attention!  I need you and Mart to make your way through the series as fast as you can.  There's no time to waste.  See if you can find the real Trixie."

Thursday5 turned to go but immediately turned back.  "I'm only an apprentice.  I can't bookjump by myself yet."

Thursday cursed to herself.  Pulling a wallet out of her desk drawer, she removed a handful of bills and thurst them at Thursday5.  "You'll have to use a TransGenre Taxi.  Don't let him leave you between books.  This should be enough to make him stick with you through the series."

When she was alone once more, Thursday sank into her chair and took a few deep breaths, trying to clear her mind so she could figure out how to solve this problem.

"Trouble in Rivervale?" Commander Bradshaw asked, taking the recently vacated seat in front of her desk.  "Get it?  It's like a play on River City but Rivervale because of the book."

"Yeah, I get it.  Thanks," Thursday said with a weak smile.  "Pod Trixie is in Happy Valley and we don't know where the real Trixie is."

Commander Bradshaw whistled.  "That's not good.  As the title character of a series, I know how time-consuming it is.  If I were to have left any of my books unannounced, the whole series would've fallen apart."

Commander Bradshaw was a renowned booksplorer in the BookWorld.  Before the ISBN Positioning System was established in the 1960's, Bradshaw's maps were the only travel guides to fictional works.  His adventure series, published in the 1920's, was now out of print but Bradshaw was still a legend in the BookWorld.

"We have to find Trixie," Thursday said.  "She's too important to too many people."

"Indeed.  And Jixanny is coming up.  We'll have to find her before then."

Thursday raised a curious eyebrow.  "You know about Jixanny?"

"Of course.  Title Tag is my favorite part."  With a wistful sigh, he added, "I do so wish that I would get tagged once in a while."

"You're a member of the message board?"

Commander Bradshaw looked downcast as he mumbled, "Well, no, of course not.  But the Bob-Whites are and I am profoundly envious."

"No Bradshaw Adventures message board?"

Commander Bradshaw shook his head forlornly, his bushy salt and pepper mustache drooping toward his chin.  "There's some fanfic but very little.  There is a bloke in North Dakota who does a spot-on Commander Bradshaw.  If only he could rally enough fans for a message board..."

Thursday was about to console him when Thursday5 burst through the doorway.

"Thursday!" she cried shrilly.

Thursday leaped to her feet.  "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, oh, nothing at all," Thursday5 replied, her fingers clapsed underneath her chin and an expression of childish delight on her face.  Close behind her were Trixie Belden and her brother Mart.

Thursday regarded them carefully.

"It's them," Thursday5 reassured her.  "The real Trixie and the real Mart.  Oh, aren't they wonderful?  I mean, perfectly perfect?  Mart and I found Trixie almost immediately.  She was hiding out in the background story of Secret of the Mansion."

Mart looked relieved.  Trixie looked distressed.  Thursday figured she must have somehow found a way to Fanfiction through Secret of the Mansion.  It had been the subject of a recent rewrite by one of the Jixemitri owners, one who had written some pretty steamy red star stories.  Thursday recognized the expression on Trixie's face.  It was not unlike the one she herself had after being momentarily trapped in Eve and Roarke's bedroom.

Clearing her throat, she said, "Thursday5, why don't you get our guests some nice herbal tea?  They look like they could use it."

Thursday5 hurried off, which was what Thursday had intended.  She probably didn't need to hear this.

"You went to Fanfiction?" she asked Trixie.

Trixie nodded.  "I don't think I'm ready for Fanfiction," she said meekly.  "And I'm not talking about the red star stuff, either.  I couldn't get the password to get in there.  Those guardians of the password at Jix are fierce!  They wouldn't let me in!  And it's fanfic starring me!"

Commander Bradshaw stood.  He patted Trixie's hand like a reassuring grandfather and guided her to the chair.

"I'm a grown-up.  I can't believe it," Trixie continued to mumble as she took a seat.  "I'm a detective, an FBI agent, a spy, a Secret Service bodyguard, a police officer ... and scariest of all ... a mother!"  She looked up at Thursday and Bradshaw, her blue eyes wide.  "I'm not ready to be a mom!  I'm only 14!"

Thursday thought she had it all figured out now.  "Pod Trixie didn't take over," she guessed.  "You heard about Fanfiction from Thursday1-4 and couldn't contain your curiosity."

Mart, standing behind Trixie with his hands on her shoulders, snorted.  "Nothing new there."

"You asked Pod Trixie to take over for you while you went to check it out."

Trixie nodded submissively.

"And Pod Trixie was too scared to move on in the series because, let's face it, she's a one-note, one-book kind of girl.  So she threatened to stop the series at the end of Happy Valley."

Trixie bit her lower lip, looking guilty and very sorry for her mishap.  Something about the winsome face made Thursday want to forgive her.  If both Trixie's and Honey's parents could continuously forgive Trixie for getting herself and Honey into dangerous jams, Thursday supposed she could forgive her this lapse of judgment.  After all, it certainly seemed she had learned her lesson.

"You two will need to make a stop at the Memory Erasure Clinic before heading back to the series," she told the Beldens.

"Oh, but I won't tell anybody I visited Fanfiction," Trixie promised earnestly.  "I won't even let on that I know about it.  I can keep a secret."

Behind her, Mart made a face and vehemently shook his head back and forth.

Thursday contained her grin and in an official tone said, "It's standard procedure, Miss Belden.  Commander Bradshaw, would you be so kind as to escort them to the clinic?"

"But of course!  Come along, then.  Tut-tut!"  He herded the two teenagers away from Thursday's desk just as Thursday5 returned with two cups of herbal tea.

"Where are they going?"

"MEC."

Thursday5's face fell.  "But I made them tea.  My special blend."

"Give it to me, I'd love some."  She hated Thursday5's homebrewed tea and had to make an effort not to wince as she took a sip.  "You and I need to head back to Happy Valley and get Pod Trixie back to Bob-White Cave before the writers at Jix start working on their group story."

"But if the real Trixie is here, that'll leave Happy Valley in limbo.  A lot of people really like that book and with spring coming so soon, they'll probably be inclined to read it."

"Trixie won't be long."  Thursday paused and set the cup of vile tea down on her desk and pushed it away from her.  She had a better way to reward her apprentice.  "And while she's unavailable, you can stand in for her."

Thursday5's eyes widened and a bright smile lit up her face.  "Really?  For the whole book?  The basketball game and the dance and the ice skating and the sheep and the flood and the bracelet and everything?" she squealed, her words tumbling over each other in her excitement.

Thursday still had her doubts that Thursday5 would handle the flood well but she supposed she could count on Jim and Honey to pick up the slack for a little while.  "Yes, the whole book."

Thursday5 jumped up from her chair and proceeded to whirl around the room in delight.  Thursday shook her head.  Thankfully, Thursday5 stopped before she could get dizzy watching her.

"I need to change."

"The readers can't see you," Thursday reminded her.

"I know but ... well, I want to get into character.  And I don't want to feel out of place.  Besides, I can't wear this to a flood."

Thursday grinned at the idea of a dress code for natural disasters.  "All right, but don't be long."

Thursday5 disappeared and Thursday again had the place to herself for some peace and quiet.

Jim Frayne also knew about Fanfiction.  He had promised not to tell and he was rather honorable.  Still ... he was a hormonal teenage boy.  She'd better have him brought in for short-term memory erasure also.

She spent the next half hour tying up a few loose ends on the case and had just finished when Thursday5 returned, dressed in rolled-up dungarees, a pair of worn moccasins, and a powder blue sweater set.  It was an unusual combination but it seemed to be all of Trixie's favorite things, and the readers wouldn't notice.

They read themselves back into Happy Valley and Thursday5 took over for Pod Trixie in the middle of the night before Chapter 3's Monday morning began.  Thursday told Jim she would return with the real Trixie as soon as she could and take him to the Memory Erasure Clinic.  Jim wasn't happy at the prospect of being separated from Trixie yet again but took the news in stride, promising again to keep quiet about Fanfiction until his trip to the MEC.

Thursday then took Pod Trixie back to Bob-White Cave.  The teenage girl was actually quite relieved to be back where she belonged, although the minute they leaped into the book, shortly before Chapter 1 began, she started complaining about the rain again.

It wasn't long before Commander Bradshaw was escorting Mart back to Gatehouse and Thursday had returned the real Trixie to Happy Valley, this time allowing Thursday5 to take over for Jim while he made his trip to the MEC.  She removed Jim from the story after the dance at Rivervale High, so that Trixie wouldn't feel awkward dancing with Thursday5 and pretending it was Jim.  On the other hand, she didn't think Thursday5 would mind very much.

She was about to return to Happy Valley yet again, this time with Jim in tow, when she realized that she hadn't seen hide nor hair of Thursday1-4 since she had been sent to the Great Library looking for published fanfic.

She hesitated, wondering if she should check on her before taking Jim back to Happy Valley.

"Please, can we go?" Jim asked urgently.  "I don't want Thursday5 to be giving Trixie that silver bracelet.  That should be me."

"Yes, of course," Thursday replied.  She was growing a little weary of Jim and his fixation on the 14-year-old tomboy.  She wondered if that obsessive behavior was what inspired some fanfic writers to put Trixie with someone else.

Jim had grabbed her arm and they were just about to read themselves back to Iowa when Thursday heard someone calling her name, a clear note of stress in the tone.

Jim sighed and released her arm and Thursday turned to see Thursday1-4 hurrying toward her.  She gave Jim a glance, jerking her head to the right to indicate that she needed to speak to Thursday in private.

"Wait right here," Thursday told Jim.  "We'll go back to Happy Valley in a minute."

"Okay, but that flood is our bonding time and if Thursday5 lets anything happen to Trixie, I'll..."

Thursday moved away without responding.  "What is it?" she asked Thursday1-4.

"Um, we have a situation."

"Where have I heard that before?" Thursday grumbled.  "What now?"

"It's The Sasquatch Mystery."

"Please don't tell me the Sasquatch escaped," Thursday moaned.  She had once spent many months chasing the Minotaur through the BookWorld and had no desire to do that again.

"No.  There's someone there.  He's looking for Hallie."

Hallie Belden, Idaho cousin to Trixie, Mart, and Brian.  Sometimes she was loved, sometimes she was despised, and the only in-between seemed to be complete apathy toward the drawling Indian princess.  She had only appeared in two books and Thursday couldn't imagine who was looking for her, unless...

"Is it someone from another series?  A Hardy boy, perhaps, from the Character Exchange Program?"

"No," Thursday1-4 hedged.  "You know how you sent me to find out if there was any published fanfic in the library?"

"Yes?"

"Well, it turns out there's this woman in North Carolina who has printed out every story by this one author and keeps them all in a binder."

"A binder?  Does that even count as a published work?"

"Technically, no.  But if it's stored too close to actual books, it can create unmonitored passageways that can be used to travel from the BookWorld to Fanfiction ... and vice versa."

Thursday growled, "Tell.  Me.  His.  Name."

"Some guy named Simon Drake."  Thursday1-4 paused then rushed on.  "He was with Hallie in Fanfiction but Hallie's emotionally scarred by something in her past and Simon's a womanizing jerk and they're not together anymore.  A lot of the readers really want them to be together.  So I told Simon Drake that and he said he'd be glad to go back and not cheat on Hallie, but what could he do about Hallie's past?  I kind of casually mentioned that if Hallie had never gone to Europe, she never would've met Julian Peslier, they wouldn't have gotten married, Hallie wouldn't have—"  She stopped short when she saw the look on Thursday's face.  "Well, now Simon is in Sasquatch and he says he's going to stay until he convinces Hallie not to go to Europe."

"Thursday!!!" Thursday screamed at her irresponsible fictional self.

"Is something wrong?"  It was Jim Frayne, who had somehow crept up on the two of them while they were talking.  "Can I help?  Hallie is a Belden and an honorary Bob-White and if she's in trouble, maybe I could be of some assistance."

"Frayne, this doesn't concern you," Thursday said between gritted teeth.  "Cat!"

The Unitary Authority of Warrington Cat (formerly known as the Cheshire Cat before the county borders were moved) was the overseer of the Great Library.  He magically appeared in front of Thursday and Thursday1-4.

"Could you please take Jim over to Bradshaw Adventures and let him read while Thursday1-4 and I take care of a few things?"

Bradshaw Adventures was a safe series.  It had been out of print for decades and the subject matter would appeal to the rugged young woodsman.

"Just make sure that's the only place he goes," she warned.  Cat nodded and indicated to Jim that he should follow him.  With a broad smile, he slowly dissolved until only his grin was left to float down the hallway of the library in front of Jim.

"All I need is Jim slipping into the backstory of Trixie Belden and deciding he's going to prevent his parents' deaths or convince his mother not to marry Jonesy or arrive in Sleepyside before his great-uncle dies."

"But those were all bad things," Thursday1-4 insisted, her altruism managing to break free of the dark side.  "What's wrong with changing them?"

"Don't you understand?  It's the trials of fiction that the readers hunger for.  They're what make the characters who they are.  Besides, if you change one little thing in a backstory, it can have devastating consequences.  If Jim's parents didn't die, he might never have met Trixie and Honey.  Then where would the series be?"

"But you changed Jane Eyre."

"Yes, but not the backstory, just the ending.  And I don't recommend it.  We can't just go changing books willy-nilly."

"But in Fanfiction they do," Thursday1-4 insisted.  "They create backstories and connections where there were none, they change timelines, imagine 'what if' scenarios ... like Jim never coming to Sleepyside.  And he meets Trixie and Honey anyway!"

"That's Fanfiction," Trixie asserted.  "It's okay over there.  It's a whole other world.  They can make Jim a drag queen or Trixie a mathematics professor.  They can write crossover stories.  They can bring real people into their stories."

"Like Neil Diamond?"

"Yes, like—stop reading fanfic!"

"I can't," Thursday1-4 admitted ruefully.  "It's very addictive.  And so fascinating."

Thursday stopped shouting.  She concentrated on breathing in, breathing out, calming herself and trying to figure out what to do about Simon Drake in Sasquatch.

"Listen," she said evenly when she had regained control.  "Go back to Sasquatch and convince Simon Drake to return to Fanfiction.  Fanfiction isn't as stable as the BookWorld.  The story on screen is usually the only copy, which means it's more susceptible to change.  Hallie's not even thinking about Europe in Sasquatch and if Fanfiction Hallie considers it, it could unravel that writer's entire universe.  For all we know, that could be endemic."

Thursday1-4's eyes widened.  "Like the Mispeling Vyrus?"

"Yes, and the Internet has all kinds of viruses that have the ability to destroy Fanfiction."

Convinced, Thursday1-4 turned and raced down the hallway, intent on returning Simon Drake to Fanfiction.

"I could use a nap," Thursday said to nobody in particular.  Reaching back to straighten and tighten her sloppy ponytail, she headed toward Bradshaw Adventures.  It was time to get Jim back to Happy Valley.

When she arrived on Level D—the Bradshaw Adventures series having been penned by Roger Deacon, Jim was nowhere to be seen.

"Jim?" she called.  "Cat?"

Cat appeared, sans smile.

"Where's Jim?"

"He asked me to return him to Happy Valley.  He seemed most anxious to get back."

Thursday sighed.  "Well, that was to be expected, I guess.  Did he enjoy the Bradshaw books?"

"No, he found them unbelievable.  I do hope the Commander doesn't catch wind of that.  It would break his heart.  Jim migrated down the shelves a bit while he was waiting for you."

"To?"

"Dickens."

"Copperfield?  Twist?"  Both were orphans and that likely appealed to Jim.

"Carton."

"Carton?"  Thursday paused to think back.  "A Tale of Two Cities?"

"Young Frayne seemed to be particularly touched by his sacrifice."

"By his—?  Oh, no!"  Thursday brushed past Cat and hurried down the shelves to Dickens.  Sure enough, a small piece of scrap paper was sticking out of A Tale of Two Cities.  She yanked it out and unfolded it.

Dear Thursday,

Thanks for everything.  I have to get back to Rivervale.
I've decided to let Ned Schultz have Trixie.  I must.
It is a far, far better thing that I do than I have ever done.

Sincerely,
James W. Frayne II

Thursday let the note fall to the floor.  She felt like channeling Thursday5 by putting her face in her hands and sobbing.  She felt like channeling Thursday1-4 with a flood of foul language.

"Problem, Thursday?" Cat asked kindly.  He glanced at the note and flashed his toothy grin.  "Ah, Dickens!  It is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known."

"Rest?" Thursday grumbled.  "Yeah, like that's ever gonna happen."

THE END...?

Author's Notes

A Tale of Two Trixies (10,104 words)

A big thank you to my fantastic and speedy editors, all three of whom were able to get back to me the same day I sent this story out.  You ladies rock!

Thanks, Trish, for graciously letting me use your comment about Stephanie Plum (uttered by Eve Dallas in this story).  It fit in perfectly, my not-so-evil twin.

I do not own Thursday Next (or either of her fictional counterparts), Commander Bradshaw, Sam Spade, Philip Marlowe, Kinsey Millhone, Cordelia Gray, Stephanie Plum, Nancy Drew, Eve Dallas, or Roarke.  The BookWorld and all organizations, characters, and objects within (with the exception of the Memory Erasure Clinic and the land of Fanfiction which are my inventions*) are the property of Jasper Fforde and his brilliant mind.  They are used with great respect and fondness here but without permission.  Please don't sue me, Jasper!

*Added note 3/10/11: Rereading the series I remembered that Thursday's Uncle Mycroft had been working on a "memory erasure device".  This was in the Real World as opposed to the BookWorld, but I rather like the idea that he was able to get somebody in the Book World interested in his invention.  Also, this story was posted prior to the U.S. release (and my reading) of Book 6, One of Our Thursdays Is Missing, in which the land of Fanfiction does indeed make its debut.  Maybe Fforde and I share a muse?

The line describing Thursday5: "She was sensitive, caring, compassionate, kind, thoughtful-and unreadable" is directly from Book 5 in the series, Thursday Next: First Among Sequels.  Why this line and no other?  Not sure, but I wanted to make sure I credited it properly and didn't take it for my own.

If you enjoyed this story and laughed a lot, go pick up the first book in the Thursday Next series, The Eyre Affair.  Trust me when I tell you that Jasper Fforde is WAY more clever and WAY funnier than I am.

While I still have no intention of starting a second universe, I admit there just might be a sequel or two to this story, mainly because of all the hilarious things from Fforde's books that I failed to bring into this story.  It would be fun to try it again.

Book background is from Absolute Background Textures.