Chapterette
30A
A Dream Pang
(originally posted June 2, 2010)
July 8, 2000
“There
you are. I was wondering where you
disappeared to.”
She
was sitting on the floor in the hallway, her back up against the opposing wall.
She didn’t look upset but it wasn’t like her not to be in the midst
of family and friends. Even if she was
troubled, she tended to drift toward, not away from, those she loved most.
“I
just needed a few minutes,” she said simply.
“Do
you want to be alone?”
“Definitely
not.” She patted the carpet next
to her in invitation and he shut the door behind him and came to join her.
She
leaned her curly head on his shoulder and he took her hand in his and fondly
twisted her wedding band and his mother’s engagement ring around her finger.
“You
know Honey never would’ve said that if she had known,” he said gently.
“I
know. I’m not upset.”
“It
was your choice not to say anything and I respect that,” he affirmed.
“It’s just that she’s your best friend and if you need somebody to
talk to...”
“But
I can’t tell just Honey, the same way
you couldn’t tell just Mart.
It’s the Bob-Whites, Dan. All
for one and one for all. Anyway,”
she added with a soft sigh, “it’s been two months and saying something now
would just feel ... weird.”
“Weird?”
“I’d
feel like it was some announcement. Hey,
everybody, I had a miscarriage two months ago.
Feel sorry for me, please.”
Dan
slid his arm around Trixie’s shoulders and gave her a squeeze.
“You know it wouldn’t be like that.”
“I’m
just saying it would feel like that, like
I was fishing for sympathy. I
waited too long and now it seems, I don’t know, kind of irrelevant.”
“Your
grief is not irrelevant.”
He pressed his lips to her temple then said, “But far be it for me to
try and persuade you when you’ve got your mind made up.”
“I’m
stubborn.”
“Steadfast.”
Trixie
snorted softly. “I love the way
you put such a positive spin on my character flaws.”
“Insignificant
faults,” he corrected. “Why
would I want somebody who’s perfect, anyway?
It’d just make me look bad.”
She
chuckled under her breath. “Anyway,
it’s not the way I’d want our friends to find out.
It certainly wasn’t the way I wanted you
to find out.”
“Trixie...”
he gently chided, not wanting her to revisit her guilt.
“I
just mean that I had the whole ‘I’m pregnant’ deal pictured in my head and
none of it turned out the way I imagined. I
didn’t want a doctor to tell me I was pregnant.
I didn’t want you to be 200 miles away.
It just sucked all around.”
“You
had it all planned out, huh?” he teased.
She
nodded and snuggled closer to his side, wrapping her arms around his waist.
“Do
you want to tell me?”
“You
won’t laugh?”
“Of
course not.”
“Well,
first of all, we’d actually be trying
to get pregnant. It wouldn’t be
an oops. And I’d have a feeling I
was pregnant—”
“A
feeling? Don’t you miss a period
or something and that pretty much gives it away?”
“No,
I think I’d know before I missed my
period. Women’s intuition, you
know.”
“Ahh
... I see,” Dan said with a sage nod of his head.
He didn’t mess with women’s intuition, even when he didn’t
understand it.
“So,
I’d pick up a pregnancy test and I’d take it early the next morning before
you came home from work.”
“We’re
not taking it together?”
“No.”
“All
right,” he said with an exaggerated sigh, “but I’m gonna feel left out.”
“No
you won’t,” she promised. “It’s
all part of the plan.”
“Okay,
continue.”
“So,
I take the test and, of course, it's positive.
I leave the test on the bathroom counter and go back to bed and
pretend I'm sleeping while I wait for you.”
“What
if I don’t go to the bathroom when I get home?”
“You
always take a shower when you get home, especially when I have the day off.
That way we can spend all morning in bed together and you aren’t all
stinky and sweaty from work. You
always smell so good when you come to bed in the morning,” she murmured
appreciatively.
“And
you have the day off in this little dream?”
“Definitely.”
“Okay,
so I’m going in to take a shower and I see the pregnancy test,” he prompted.
“Yes,
and all of a sudden, I hear this shrieking coming from the bathroom.”
“Excuse
me? Shrieking?
I don’t shriek, wife.”
“Dan,
you just found out you’re going to be a daddy.
I think that calls for an extreme display of emotion.”
“But
not shrieking,” he insisted. “How
about shouting?”
“All
right, shouting,” she conceded reluctantly.
“And you come running into the bedroom and ... I guess if you’re not
shrieking, you won’t be jumping on the bed either?”
“I’m
not eight years old.”
“And
that’s a good thing, because we’re going to have some pretty mind-blowing
sex to celebrate.”
“Excellent!”
Trixie
giggled and tilted her head up for a kiss, a promise of something more when they
weren’t sitting in a public hallway.
“And
then we argue,” she said.
“What?
Why are we arguing?”
“Because
you want to call everybody and tell them right away and I think we
should wait until after the first trimester.”
Dan’s
eyebrows shot upward. “You’re
the cautious one?
You want to keep it secret?
This is quite a little fantasy you’ve got going here, Mrs. Mangan.”
She
scowled fondly at him and replied, “But
... you talk me into telling.”
“Because
I’m very persuasive.”
“Mmm-hmm,”
she agreed blissfully and Dan knew she was imagining just how he would persuade
her.
“So,
who do we tell first?” he asked.
“I
think Moms and Dad.”
“Then
Uncle Bill?”
She
nodded her agreement. “Then Brian
and Honey.”
“Why
Brian and Honey before Mart?”
“Well,
it’s two
Bob-Whites and my brother and
my best friend.”
“Mart
is your brother and he’s my best
friend. And he eats enough for any two
Bob-Whites.”
Trixie
chuckled and said, “He’s my almost twin.
He’d probably already know, anyway.”
Dan
affected an expression of abject horror. “Does
that mean he’s going to have sympathy morning sickness, mood swings, and
swollen ankles?”
“Poor
Sally! I hope not!” Trixie
laughed. “That leaves Jim and
Diana and they’re not related to either of us, so who do we tell first? Or should we tell Hallie before we tell them because she is
related?”
“Mart’s
a blabbermouth. Let him tell Jim
and Hallie and we’ll call Diana.”
“Uh-oh,
I forgot about Mr. Maypenny. He’s
family, too.”
“Yeah,
but he never has his phone plugged in. We’ll
have to drive to Sleepyside and tell him. Or
Uncle Bill can ride out and tell him.”
Trixie
nodded in satisfaction. “Perfect.”
“Do
we argue about anything else?”
“No,
of course not. Why?”
Slipping
a hand inside her thigh, he murmured, “Because I like persuading you.”
With
a giggle, Trixie smacked his hand away.
“It’s
a great dream, babe. You know we
can still have that dream?”
Trixie sighed. “I know. Next time we’ll be ready for it, and it’ll be great.”
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Author's Notes
Chapterette 30A (1,201 words)
Thanks, as always, to my editors, Ruth, Heather, and Annette, and special thanks to Ruth for her encouraging and kind comments on the feelings going on in this little scene.
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