“Honey says we ought to have the wedding favors decided soon.  I’ve been looking all day, but I haven’t come up with anything original.  Not that unoriginal stuff would be bad, it just would be nice if we could think of something uniquely us, you know?  So far, all I’ve come up with is your basic votive candles, hand soaps, coasters, personalized M&M’s, blah, blah, blah.

“Do you think it might be funny to have something related to Atlantic City?  I don’t know, poker chips or saltwater taffy or something?  I mean, once we’re married our bet is over and we might as well tell people.  So, when they sit down at the reception and start asking what the deal is with the favors, we can tell them we got married in Atlantic City last year.  On second thought, candy might not be a good idea.  I don’t think having it sit outside all day in the August heat is gonna fly.”

She stopped and looked over at Dan, who was staring at her with his mouth slightly agape.  “What?”

“Who the hell are you and what have you done with my wife?”

“What’re you talking about?”

“Trix, it wasn’t two weeks ago that Honey was wrenching decisions out of you like rotten molars.  The wedding planning has been driving you crazy for months, and now all of a sudden you’re all gung-ho about it?  And don’t even get me started on what’s going on in our kitchen right now!”

Trixie snapped her computer shut and put it on the coffee table.  She looked like she was about to growl irritably at him, but as Dan continued to stare at her in amazement, he saw her compose herself and take a deep breath before turning a serene face up to him. 

Quietly, she said, “It’s been three weeks since graduation and I’m just feeling a little anxious, that’s all.  I went from being busy ten or twelve hours a day training and studying, to doing nothing but waiting to find out where I’m getting assigned, and I’m going a little stir crazy.  I’m just trying to keep myself distracted.”

Sitting down on the couch next to her and pulling her close, Dan murmured, “Trix, you graduated ninth in your class, not to mention the highest-ranked female in the class.  I think you’re pretty much going to have your pick of assignments.”

He didn’t see her anxiously chewing her lip before she answered cheerily, “Yeah, well, it’s not like people will be fighting over Albany anyway, right?  Not that it won’t be great to work here, it’s just that getting this office won’t be as competitive as D.C. or L.A. or Chicago or—”

“Or New York,” Dan put in.

“Right.  And at least we won’t have to deal with moving just a few months before we get married.  We’ll just stay here in Albany like we planned, and everything will go on more or less as normal.”

“That’s right,” he answered resignedly.  He’d just have to call Aidan tomorrow and tell him he wasn’t going through with it.

***

April 28, 1999

Trixie and Dan sat quietly eating their dinner Wednesday evening.  Dan was normally somewhat silent while he ate, but even his chatterbox wife enjoyed the comfort of a quiet, peaceful dinner with just the two of them, especially after a stressful day.

She hadn’t said much tonight, not even teasing him for the copious amounts of garlic he invariably put in the spaghetti sauce.  That, and the deep furrow in her brow, told Dan that her day had been stressful for her.  He wondered if she had had her assignment meeting with the Treasury Department yet, and if hearing from them or not hearing from them was what was causing her tension this evening.  He knew better than to press her for details though.  When Trixie was ready to share her problems, she would.  Until then, he had to let her have her space to work through things on her own.

Finally, she laid her fork on her plate, put her elbows on the edge of the table and rested her chin on her clasped hands.  Dan was in the middle of his final bite of salad and quickly swallowed, laying his fork down and giving her his full attention.

“They called me down to the branch office today,” she began.

“Was it for your assignment meeting?”

She nodded.

“And?”

She smiled and said, “You were right.  I’m pretty much going to get my first choice.”

Dan smiled back at her, though he felt the tiniest bit deflated.  “So, we’re set then?”

She looked intently at him for a minute and then picked up her plate and glass and took them to the sink.  “Yep.  No moving stress or new job stress to add to our wedding stress.  We can stay right here and you can keep working your way unfettered up the APD hierarchy until you make detective.  Unless you had something else in mind?”

He looked sharply over at her, wishing she’d turn and face him, so he could read her all too readable facial expressions.  “Something else?”

“How about Albany Police Chief Mangan?  That has a nice ring to it.”

The mere thought of dealing with bureaucrats and paperwork and sitting behind a desk ordering other people to go do the real work made him grimace.  “No thanks, I’ll stick with detective.”

He stood and brought his dishes to the sink, where Trixie was rinsing her dishes and loading the dishwasher.  “You know, if we moved there’d be no guarantee our new place would have a dishwasher.”

Trixie giggled.  “The horror!  Now that I’ve had one, I don’t know how I’d ever live without one again!”

There was a companionable silence as they worked, but there was a prickly feeling in the air, as if there was something more to be said, an electricity hovering just below the layer of quiet.

“Dan—”

“Trix—”

“Sorry, you go,” they both said, and then laughed together.

“What were you going to say, babe?”

“What were you going to say?”

He breathed slowly in and out, in and out, while he thought.  They supported each other.  Their marriage was truly a partnership.  On the other hand, he was pretty content in the Albany Police Department and if Trixie’s first choice was Albany...  On the other hand, New York would be closer to her family—except for Mart—and his family, all two of them...  On the other hand, just because she’d been green-lighted for Albany without hesitation, didn’t mean it would be the same for New York, a far bigger and more significant office…

“Dan?”

He looked into her bright blue eyes, looking into forever he called it, and smiled at her.  The truth was, his job wasn’t as important as she was.  He’d wanted to be a police officer for many years, but he really could do that anywhere.  Being with her was the most important thing.

“Trix—”

“Dan, would you consider moving to New York?”

“What?”

Trixie groaned and walked away from the sink, wiping her still damp hands on her jeans.  She continued on in a jumbled torrent that he understood only because he had known her—and Honey—for so long.  “I know, I know!  I’m such a pain to mess everything up like this—again.  We get married and a month later I’m off to Georgia.  I mean, we weren’t really planning on getting married, but we did.  Then I drop out of school without telling you, apply to the Treasury Department without telling you, and run off and leave you to take my six-month training program.  But what if … just what if we went to New York instead of staying here?  How bad would that be?  I know New York’s huge and it’s nothing like living in Albany, much less Sleepyside.  But we’d be closer to home and Honey and Brian are in New York and you already know someone in the NYPD.  Maybe Aidan could tell you if there are any openings.  I know moving would be a huge stress right now with everything else we’ve got going on but we could do it, couldn’t we?”

Dan didn’t know what else to do. He sank to the floor, put his head in his hands and laughed, helplessly and silently.

Trixie immediately dropped to her knees beside him.  “I’m sorry, Dan.  I know I’m the biggest pain in the butt that ever lived.  We’ll be the first couple in history to get divorced before we’re married.  I mean, we’re already married, but nobody knows it.  So we’ll get divorced, call off the wedding, and I’ll just ask to be assigned to the office in … Fargo or something.  I don’t know how you ever thought you could love such a selfish person anyway.  We’ll stay here, Dan, together or apart or whatever.  I love you and I’m sorry I almost messed everything up again.”

Dan grabbed her, pulled her onto his lap and kissed her—a lengthy, intense, and thoroughly adoring kiss.

When they finally came up for air, Trixie gasped, “What was that all about?”

“Sometimes, it’s the only way to shut you up, Miss Nonsense of America.”

“You’re not mad at me?”

“No, I’m just frustrated.  Not with you, with us.  When are we going to learn that keeping secrets from each other is pointless and just makes things more complicated?”

“I’m sorry, Dan, but it’s not really a secret.  I did put Albany as my first choice, and they’ll assign me here, if that’s what we want.  They just offered me New York.  I don’t have to take it.”

“Do I have to kiss you again, or are you going to listen to me for a minute?”

Tentatively, Trixie smiled at him.  “I wouldn’t mind another kiss.”

He gave her a quick one before saying, “Last week, on my birthday, when I was out all day?  I went to New York to visit Aidan.  There are spots open in his precinct and he was trying to talk me into moving to New York and joining the NYPD.  Trix, it seemed perfect.  We’d be close to home, we’d be close to family, it would be a huge career move for both of us … except I thought you wanted Albany.  So I told Aidan to forget it.”

Trixie stared at him, jaw dropped in astonishment.  “You want to move to New York?”

“Not without you, sunshine.”

“But I want to move to New York!”

“Yeah, I know that ... now.  Like I said, we gotta stop keeping secrets.  No good comes of it.”

“Well,” Trixie answered slyly.  “I can think of one secret-keeping mission that’s been fun.”

Dan chuckled.  “Okay, but it’ll still come to no good for whichever one of us loses.”

“You mean you.”

Dan smiled at her, hoping it had a look of smug confidence.  “You mean you.”

They engaged in another time-consuming kiss to ward off the silly argument.  Dan stopped momentarily to ask, “Where’s the dog?”

“Outside,” Trixie murmured, her lips buried in his neck.

“You know, we’ve never had sex on this kitchen floor.”

“Well, if we’re moving to New York soon, we’d better not let this chance slip away.”

“That’s absolutely right.  See?  We’re already learning not to keep things from each other that might cause us to miss life-changing opportunities like this one.”

***

May 1, 1999

Dan was sleeping peacefully when he felt a sudden heavy weight pressing on his stomach.  Thinking it was Penny, he automatically reached up and gently shoved her aside.  He heard the thump as she fell to the floor, followed by a muffled, “Ouch!”

His eyes flew open.  He was almost certain the beagle hadn’t learned to speak since last night.  Rolling over and peeking over the edge of the bed, he saw Trixie sprawled on the floor.  Well, part of her anyway.  Her head and shoulders were under the bed.

Leaning over, he smacked her on the butt and barked, “What do you think you’re doing?”

Trixie jerked her head out from under the bed, hitting it on the frame in the process and letting out another “Ouch!” 

Then her bright blue eyes were looking innocently up at him from under a jumbled mess of uncombed curls.  “What?”

“Is there a particular reason you’re under our bed at seven o’clock on a Saturday morning?”

She shrugged and shook her head.

“You weren’t, by any chance, looking for your birthday gift, were you?”

She made a face. “So what if I was?  I think I’ve shown remarkable restraint until now, and today is my birthday, after all.”

“Remarkable restraint?  Weren’t you digging around in the closets Wednesday morning?”

“We’re moving in less than two weeks.  I’m just trying to ... pre-pack.”

“Pre-pack?”  Dan laughed in disbelief.  “What about last night when I found you rummaging through the kitchen cabinets?

“I was … reorganizing.”

“Uh-huh.  And Thursday afternoon you were reorganizing the dust bunnies under the couch?”

“Penny lost one of her toys.”

“Yeah … right.”

Trixie jumped up on the bed and straddled Dan, pinning his arms to the mattress.  “It’s my birthday and I want my present!”

“You’ve gotten awful spoiled lately, Mrs. Mangan.  And if you don’t watch the placement of your knees, I can guarantee one present you’ll never be able to enjoy again.”

With a giggle, Trixie relented and rolled over to cuddle next to him.  “Can I have my birthday present … please?  That is, of course, if you got me one.”

“Of course I got you a birthday present.  What kind of a cad of a secret husband do you think I am?”

“Well, you didn’t get me a graduation present.”

“Sure I did.  I just haven’t given it to you yet.”

With a coy, dimpled smile on her flushed face, Trixie asked, “What about the night of seven times when I came home from Virginia?”

Dan grinned.  “That was my present.”

For a moment, they were caught up in the memory of that heated night—fondling, kissing, touching—but then Trixie’s persistence kicked in and she pulled away with an impish smile on her face.  “My present, please.”

“You only love me for the presents, don’t you?”

“And the sex.”

Making a face and pushing her away, Dan got out of bed and pulled on a t-shirt and sweatpants.  Tossing Trixie hers, he said, “Get dressed.”

“Why?”

“Because I have to take you to your gift and I’d rather the neighbors not see you in your skivvies.”

After she made herself reasonably presentable, he led her downstairs and told her to shut her eyes.  She took a cursory glance around the living room before obeying.  Dan made a few funny faces at her to make certain she wasn’t peeking, then quietly opened the front door.  Penny launched herself outside with an excited yelp and Trixie asked in surprise, “We’re going outside?”

“Of course.  Did you think I had the neighbors hiding out in the kitchen, waiting for a chance to see you half-naked?”

With frightening accuracy, she reached out and smacked him on the arm—damn, her internal radar was good—and he grabbed her hand and led her gently outside, talking her carefully down the front steps and toward the driveway, where he stopped and said, “Okay, you can open your eyes now.”

And there was that smile he’d been looking forward to seeing for almost a month.  The pure delight and surprise that was ingrained in her inner child, and yet was so difficult to produce since she always seemed to know just what he was up to.

“It’s a car!”

“No, it’s your car.”  He dangled the keys in front of her eyes and kissed her on the cheek.  “Happy Birthday, Congratulations, and I hope you and your husband will be very happy.”

Astonishment and joy were clearly written all over her expressive face, and Dan’s heart soared as he ticked off the features of her new car.  “It’s a Honda CRV, last year’s model, but it’s really low on mileage.  It’s in great condition because it was under lease last year, so the dealer took good care of it.  It’s big enough that I feel you’ll be safe on the road, but it’s not too big, which I knew you wouldn’t like.  It’s got a CD player and air-conditioning and cruise control, and besides all that, I couldn’t afford an Aston Martin.”

Laughing, she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him fiercely.  “I love you.”

“I love you.  And it’s blue.  Submarine Blue Pearl, to be specific,” he teased.

“Well, it’s very pretty.  I should’ve picked that color for the bridesmaids’ dresses.”  With a wide smile on her pretty face, she said, “Let’s go get pancakes.”

She let go of him and turned to go back to the house, but Dan grabbed her by the wrist.  Digging into his pocket, he pulled out her driver’s license and his wallet and waggled his eyebrows impishly.  “We’re ready.”

Trixie laughed, Dan whistled to Penny, and the Mangans embarked on their first family trip in the new car, which Trixie promptly dubbed “Aston”.

***

May 2, 1999

“So, Dan suggests L-Ken’s,” Trixie said with a teasing scowl his way.  “As if I want bacon grease and maple syrup all over my new car the first time I drive it.”

The Albany drive-in restaurant they’d gone to for breakfast the day before also had tables inside, but most customers came for the authentic 1950s carhop atmosphere.  Dan had been looking forward to eating at his favorite pancake place without actually having to step out in public in his day-old sweats, uncombed hair, and unshaven face.

Their four lunch companions laughed and Mart said, “In view of the complete lack of dining grace that both of you possess, I’d say eating in the azure automobile will be permanently off limits.”

“Oh, you’re one to talk,” Sally purred, leaning over to dab a napkin on the front of Mart’s shirt, where a thin sting of mozzarella was stuck in a blob of pizza sauce.

Renee concurred.  “Dad was considering switching to cloth napkins and tablecloths at the diner to be more environmentally friendly.  Three little words was all it took to change his mind.  Mart.  Belden.  Barbeque.”

Mart’s face was as red as Jim’s hair, but he laughed agreeably with his friends as they teased him.  Jim, Renee, Mart, and Sally had driven down from Indian Lake to help Trixie celebrate her birthday and the six young people were having lunch at Trixie and Dan’s favorite Albany pizza parlor.

“I was just trying to get young Aston trained as quickly as possible,” Dan explained to his wife.  “Between you and me, and all the rides I’m sure you’ll have to give Mart once his heap finally croaks, this car won’t be staying spotless.  I’m only trying to break it in before we start filling it with Mangan children.”

“Children will wait until after you get married though, right?” Jim asked with a teasing grin.

Dan darted a glance at Mart, who was making some sort of fake coughing noises into his napkin to try and cover a snicker.  Before he could respond though, Trixie was clasping his hand under the table, ready to share their news with their friends.

“We’ll be waiting longer than that,” she said.  “We both have careers that are pretty consuming right now ... definitely on the way up.”

A very brief moment of silence was followed by Sally’s excited, “You got assigned!  Here in Albany?”

“No,” Dan said slowly.  He took a fleeting wicked delight in seeing the worry in his friends’ faces that they were moving to Los Angeles, or some other far-flung destination, before ending their agony.  “We’re going to New York.”

He looked at their friends in a mix of bemusement and bewilderment.  Renee’s quietly expressive face was congratulatory.  Sally’s distinctive blue eyes twinkled in vicarious excitement as she fairly bounced on her chair.  Mart was grudgingly proud—he would probably miss his sister and his best friend living just two hours away.  But Jim looked almost stricken, and Dan frowned worriedly as he stared at him.  His friend’s green-eyed gaze caught his for just a second before flickering down to his plate, and his distress was lost in the enthusiastic babble of Trixie telling them about her new position, Dan’s hopefully imminent transfer, living near Brian and Honey as they brought the first second-generation Bob-White into the world, getting to spend more time in Sleepyside, and the general excitement of living in the largest city in the country.

Renee mentioned that she had never been to New York City and was looking forward to visiting, maybe the week after the wedding.  Sally was thrilled because she would surely get more opportunities to visit her brother Simon, since two of Mart’s siblings and his best friend were all living in the same city now.  And Mart quickly got over his sense of loss to make tongue-in-cheek remarks about a free place to stay that didn’t involve a squalling baby or the threat of having his privates surgically removed by Sally's overprotective brother while he slept.  When he asked about turndown service and breakfast in bed, Dan stretched one long leg under the table and kicked him soundly in the shin.

The conversation continued as the group finished their desserts—tiramisu for the Indian Lake couples and cannoli for Dan and Trixie.  For some reason, the cannoli always made her rather amorous and Dan was determined to find out—before they left Albany for good—what edible aphrodisiac they put in it.  For now, he tried to focus on the banter and not on Trixie’s hand fumbling awkwardly in his lap.  He grabbed her hand and affectionately twisted the engagement ring around her finger.  When they were amongst their family and friends, she normally wore her wedding band on a chain around her neck, and he took a look now to see if it was noticeable under the smoky blue-gray sweater she wore.  The chain was visible around her neck, but the ring was tucked inside and thankfully, Trixie had never been one for low-cut tops.

Suddenly, a dinner mint hit him squarely between the eyes and Mart chided, “If you’ll stop staring at my sister’s chest for two seconds, Daniel, and pass me your check, please.  Lunch is on me.  Happy Birthday, dear little sister.”

“I’m not your little sister right now,” Trixie retorted.  “Until next month, we’re twins!”

Dan said, “Since Mart and Sally rode over to the restaurant with us, Jim, do you and Renee want to ride back in the new car?  That is, of course, if you trust Mart with your vehicle.”  He ducked as the second mint came hurtling at him.

“It’s not a lack of trust,” Jim said.  “It’s just that—”

“You have control issues,” chorused five voices in unison.

They all laughed as they paid their bills and made their way out to the parking lot.  Even Jim joined in after he made a suitably appropriate face at his friends.  “You can go in the new car if you want, Renee,” he said.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?  I’ve been thinking of getting one of these mini-SUVs and I’d love to see what they’re like.”

“Of course he doesn’t mind,” Trixie answered.  “I’ll even let you drive, if you want.”

“What?” Dan squawked in mock disgust.  “You haven’t even let me drive it yet!”

“Just how did it get from the sales lot to our driveway then?  Did you beam it over?”

Feigning a look of confusion, Dan answered, “It’s not a Beamer, babe, it’s a Honda.”

Trixie gave him a playful spank and Mart yelled out from the other side of her car, “Why didn’t you get her a BMW, anyway, cheapskate?  Is that any way to treat your bride-to-be?”

Shooting him a glare, Dan grumbled good-naturedly, “I don’t need this abuse.  I’m riding back with Jim.”

He turned toward Jim’s Explorer, but Trixie tucked her fingers into his jacket pocket and pulled him back toward her.  “Find out what’s bothering him, okay?”  Tugging him down for a kiss, she added in a sexy whisper, “You got some cannoli for later, right?”

Dan smiled and winked as he pulled free and got into Jim’s forest green SUV.

Fortunately, The Village Pizzeria was on the other side of the city from Dan and Trixie’s apartment.  This meant Dan had time to grill his friend about his troubles, and he didn’t have to launch right into a prying interrogation—like Trixie might’ve done—but could gradually coax Jim into telling him.

Unfortunately, as he had discovered was happening more and more the last several months, his clandestine wife was rubbing off on him and vice versa.  “So, what’s up?” he blurted, then wondered with a wry grin, Why does she get subtle concern and I get in-your-face nosiness?

Jim glanced over at him with a laugh that sounded oddly hollow to Dan’s ears.  “Didn’t we just spend almost two hours catching up with each other over lunch?”

He grunted his acknowledgment, trying to let his Dan-ness regain control over the female shamus that seemed to be taking over his psyche.

It was no use.

“We told you we were moving to the city and you looked like we had just told you we were moving to Mars.  What’s wrong?”

“There’s nothing wrong,” Jim answered immediately.

“That’s what you always say when something is wrong.”

“That makes no sense, Dan.  What else am I supposed to say when nothing’s wrong?”

“It’s not what you said, it’s how you said it.  When nothing’s wrong, you pause, look at me like I’m nuts, and then say nothing’s wrong.  When something is wrong you immediately say nothing’s wrong and then you clench your jaw or your hands, or sometimes both.”

Jim looked down at his hands, clutched on the steering wheel as if he was driving a Ford Focus with bald tires on a sheet of ice in the middle of a raging blizzard.  Unclenching his jaw, he said with a chuckle, “I should have less observant friends.  I suppose this means Trixie noticed too?”

Grinning, Dan said, “Who do you think told me to talk to you?”

The conversation lapsed into silence as Jim negotiated the on-ramp and merged into the moderate Sunday afternoon traffic on I-787, the highway on the eastern edge of Albany that ran alongside the Hudson River.

Dan figured Jim wasn’t gathering his thoughts but was hoping Dan had dropped the subject.  Unfortunately for his close-mouthed friend, Dan didn’t need to have any of Trixie’s perseverance rubbed off on him.  He was plenty persistent all by himself when it came to his friends.  “So, what’s going on, Jim?  Are you pissed at me and Trixie for moving farther away?”

Jim gave him an eye-rolling glance.  “I’m not pissed.  First of all, I chose to locate my school where I did and secondly, why would I ever be pissed at either of you?”

Dan merely raised his eyebrows.  Jim and Trixie’s break-up was four years in the past, but he had never quite gotten over the feeling that Jim still regretted it and somehow resented both Dan and Trixie for falling in love with each other.

Jim saw his dubious expression out of the corner of his eye and mumbled, “I’m not mad.”

“Then what is it?”

With a self-conscious shrug that said he was fully aware of his often ridiculous insecurities, he said, “New York City’s a pretty dangerous place.  I guess I don’t have to tell you that.”

“Your sister and your best friend live there,” Dan pointed out.

“You don’t think I worry about them?  Besides, neither of them is purposely looking to get involved with the criminal element of the city.”

Dan rolled that over in his mind for a moment before replying, “Last week, my partner and I got called in on a domestic dispute case.  Turned out the husband had beaten his wife unconscious, then, thinking he’d killed her, stabbed his seven-year-old daughter in the chest five times before slicing his own throat.  Mom and daughter are in the hospital.  I think they’ll be okay.  It was a nice neighborhood, Jim—upper middle class family with good friends and good values.”  He paused, watching for Jim’s reaction before adding, “The point is, my job can be dangerous.  It doesn’t necessarily matter where I’m working, or Trixie for that matter.”

Jim nodded grudgingly.  Dan knew Jim was a born worrywart and there was nothing he could do to change that.  Having lost both of his parents and then run away from an abusive stepfather only made the situation more complicated.  He couldn’t cure Jim.  He could only reassure him and find ways to ease his worries.

“Of course, the very next day we got called on a domestic dispute that turned out to be a young woman chewing her boyfriend out because he was making meatballs for dinner.”

Jim smiled tentatively, as if not quite believing his friend.  He raised one rust-colored eyebrow, silently asking for elaboration.

Dan just shrugged and chuckled.  “They were making a lot of noise screaming at each other and throwing things, and one of the neighbors called 9-1-1.  I kid you not, it looked like a murder scene when we got there.  Freakin’ marinara all over the damn kitchen.”

A short burst of laughter escaped Jim’s lips.  Dan grinned, knowing he had opened the door to his friend’s more relaxed, easy-going side.  He threw in one more comment to make sure that door would stay wedged open for a little while.  “Maybe she was a vegetarian or something.”

Jim’s deep laughter floated through the car.  “Maybe he turned the cat into meatballs.”

Dan shrieked in a high-pitched, girlish voice.  “Steve, how could you?  Fluffy, my precious!”